Sorry and Grateful

Sometimes I feel sorry for myself. 

I feel sorry for myself when:

I watch couples sharing in stimulating conversation.

I see twosomes off on an exciting adventure.

I very seldom have time alone.

I have to spend time searching for hidden things.

I have to get up in the middle of the night.

I think this is normal - feeling sorry. Sometimes it is difficult not to dwell on the negative aspects of having a loved one suffering with Alzheimer’s Disease. 

But what an extremely ungrateful person I would be if I thought about these negative feelings more than sometimes.  I still have so much to be thankful for.

I’m thankful:

Bob still asks me if I will marry him.

We have loving and caring family and friends who are always thinking, praying for and serving us.

Our past travels have taken us to magical places.

In days gone by, we have worked, played, laughed, cried, shared thoughts and feelings.

We can still hike, enjoy walks, hold hands, go to church, movies, plays, symphonies, family gatherings.  This won’t last forever, but when it ends, my memories will still be there.

He can walk, talk, pray, shave, feed himself, and shower.  When he no longer can, I hope I will still be thankful.

He still knows who I am.  When he can’t remember, I’ll still be thankful.  I’ll be thankful because I know he loves me, and he loves his family.  He has told us many times, verbally and in writing.    We will always love him.  No matter what this disease puts us through.